You're my little dorito
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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