You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
