come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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