i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
