so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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