last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
