How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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