It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
