Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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