Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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