do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
