He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
