I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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