it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
