3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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