So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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