Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
