Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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