i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
