sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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