i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize