ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
