what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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