i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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