Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
