so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
