Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
