she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize