I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
