She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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