We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
