why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
