i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
