Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
