Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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