Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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