best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
