ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
