Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
