Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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