ya dads aren't the best wingmen
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
