can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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