i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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