He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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