he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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