Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
