The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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