we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
