i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
