Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i would punch a child for taco bell
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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