i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
