hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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