Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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