hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
