i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
