Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
