I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
