oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
