allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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