I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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