when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
