Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
