I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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