You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
