So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize