whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
