Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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