I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
